i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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