I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
