i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
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Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
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Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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