She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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