Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
