Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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