never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I can't put those talents on a resume
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
