I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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