Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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