we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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