I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize