Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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