Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
