I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
