She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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