My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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