Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
