im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
