We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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