Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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