we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize