I just saw a hot homeless man
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
