before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
