You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
