So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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