drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
