Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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