I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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