Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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