The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
