either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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