And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I woke up under a house in Key West
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize