I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
