it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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