i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
