I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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