That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
