Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
