Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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