some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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