They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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