So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
