I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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