bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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