Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
