Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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