I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
