dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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