When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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