Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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