please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
