It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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