So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
