Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
