we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
