Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
