drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
