I want to stick my p in your. b.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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