Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize