Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?