apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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