i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
mondays should just be called national damage control day
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
We're not piercing ourselves today.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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