so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just want to make out with him forever
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
