sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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