I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
