I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
