My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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