Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
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You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
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you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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