Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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